That is not a word

The other day I saw some deers as I went to get the mails from the post box.

See anything wrong with the above sentence? Of course you do: the words 'deer' and 'mail' should never be pluralised: it's related to their word origin.

However, 'email' is 'electronic mail'; where the hell did idiots like you ever think that it could be pluralised? In what fantasy world is that kind of mangling of a word anything but a cause for ridicule? Please: tell me.

If you must erroneously label a letter by its method of delivery, then please at least conjugate the word properly; otherwise, you look positively American.

No! 'Voicemails' is also not a word. I'm flabbergasted you need an explanation for that one, after having read this. Did you read it, or did you just scan, nod and hope to sneak off?

Update: Conjugated as a verb in the third-person singular, 'emails' still isn't a word. Our mis-use of the word 'mail' - as in, "Suzie mails in her tax assessment" where it should be "Suzie sends in her tax assessment" - doesn't give us an excuse to mis-use its derivatives. Children may be increasingly self-absorbed, but using our made-up words with grown-ups still isn't something kids do.